Dream a Little Dream
by SerenityFalconNormandy
Summary: Prompt: "I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Jehanne has a nightmare during the events of ME3, one that's very different from her previous ones.


_The murky, oily shadows crept around her as she chased the child through the forest. Whispers called to her, Ashley and Jenkins, Pressley and others from the past. When she finally caught up this time, she wasn't the one kneeling next to him… them. _

_The child was different, no longer the little boy from Vancouver. This one was androgynous, with thick black hair, hazel eyes, and a smattering of freckles. Their arms were looped around Kaidan's neck, leaning into his chest like a shy child meeting someone new for the first time. Standing up, Kaidan smiled, child held to him as he reached out and said, "Shepard. Jehanne."_

_Jehanne lifted her hand ready to lay it in his. _

_A Reaper's horn sounded, and the terrible red beam vaporised them as she opened her mouth to scream. It was swallowed by the sizzling hiss._

* * *

She jerked, sending her datapad clattering to the floor. Jehanne floundered in the couch for a moment, the horn still ringing in her ears. Pressing a hand to her chest, she sucked in deep breaths, trying to slow the racing of her pulse. Fucking nightmares.

Standing, she padded her way to the tiny private bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. It helped, but still she ended up leaning her head on the edge of the sink, gulping air and holding back the bile that rose in her throat. Raising her head and looking at her reflection, Jehanne took in the sunken sockets of her eyes. The nightmares were getting worse, and consequently, she was getting far less restful sleep.

Ever since Vancouver, they'd plagued her. Not being able to protect that little boy… then Kaidan getting hurt on Mars… It was all piling up, and she couldn't take any time to talk to anyone, even Chakwas, about how much pressure she was under. Everything was on her shoulders, because no one would listen to her or help humanity unless she did the entire song and fucking Broadway musical for them.

Jehanne let out a small sob before sucking it in and straightening. None of them could afford for her to break down. She'd just lost so much. She didn't know where her mother or father were at, Anderson was stuck in a rapidly worsening battle on Earth, Thane was dead. The one comfort she had was that Kaidan was relatively safe at the moment, as were her closest friends, safe on the Normandy with her. The fucking nightmares were starting to take that comfort away along with her sleep.

She needed to see Kaidan, reassure herself he was okay for now, at least. He'd be asleep at this time of the night cycle, but she could peek through the Starboard Obs lounge door and that would work. Jehanne dug into her drawers and pulled out the oversized, ancient N7 sweatshirt she'd earned in Rio. The entire crew knew when she was wearing the sweatshirt, it meant 'off-duty, do not talk to me unless you have coffee/something's on fire/someone's bleeding'. She slid it on over her sleep tank and shorts, and shoved her cold toes into slippers.

Jehanne's jaw cracked as she yawned. She might stop by the mess on the way to get tea to help her get back to sleep. Snagging her mug and shuffling into the elevator, she yawned out, "EDI, take me to the crew quarters."

"Are you alright, Shepard? I don't observe your quarters visually anymore per your request, but some of the audio was… concerning."

"It's fine."

"Shepard."

Jehanne sighed. "Nightmares, EDI. Not really anything I can do about it."

"Understood. I could schedule an appointment with Dr. Chakwas if your battle efficiency drops as a result."

"I'd rather not, she's got enough on her mind right now."

The AI let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a frustrated sigh. "If you're sure, Shepard."

"Yep."

Even though she knew logically EDI could just follow her around via the ship's intercom, Jehanne scuttled from the elevator to the mess to escape. Mug of mint tea in hand, she tottered sleepily to the Starboard Obs lounge, waving for it to open. There was a vaguely Kaidan-shaped lump on the couch, his shoulders moving as he breathed. She let out a soft sigh. He was okay. He was alive. Time to go back to her quarters and attempt to get some sleep.

She choked on the sip of tea she was taking when Kaidan spoke, "Shepard?"

He swung up from the couch, blanket wrapped around his shoulders, "Hey, Jehanne, you okay?"

"Fine," she rasped out, coughing and holding her mug to the side to keep it from spilling, "I expected you to be asleep."

"Forgot I'm a light sleeper, didn't you?" He took the mug from her and led her to the couch. "You, on the other hand, usually sleep through everything short of a Reaper attack to wake you up. What are you doing up at this time of night?"

Jehanne looked at him for a moment before she sat down, tucking her knees under her chin. She didn't know how long either of them had left, and after Thane, she didn't have time to dance around or bullshit. Besides, playing 'guess what's in my head' wasn't her style in any case. "I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Kaidan's brows rose in surprise. "About me?"

"Yeah. I've had some recurring nightmares… a dark forest, oily shadows, whispering. Sometimes I hear Ash. Usually I dream about a kid I couldn't save in Vancouver… but tonight, it was you. And I watched you die in a Reaper beam."

Mentioning the child, the one of her mind's creation that was hers and Kaidan's, didn't feel right. Now was not the time to discuss that, with the galaxy falling apart around them. Between his shots and the settings on her cybernetics, they didn't have to worry about any unplanned discussions.

"Shit." He set the mug down, and removed the blanket from his shoulders before sitting next to her. "Wanna cuddle up?"

"Yeah, I do."

She leaned into him, forehead against his neck. Kaidan draped the blanket across the two of them and pulled her close. "I promise, Jehanne, I'll do whatever I can to keep your nightmare from coming true. Until we win this thing, I'll be by your side to prove that to you."


End file.
